Lock

I really hate complaining.
I really hate explaining.
Hate being a hypocrite at times.
If I lock you out, I'll be just fine.

Reality?

Sometimes I can't help but question reality. It's either a bad dream or a film with very poor acting techniques.

Potential / Friendship

Well, there goes yet another person I thought might have been my friend, emphasis on the might. It seems like I never know anymore though because as soon as I think I have someone who might stick around and care, they leave shortly after. I guess this all goes back to everything from my dreams, to the last blog about rejection. "Just because someone isn't out to kill you, doesn't mean they're on your side". That Richard Linklater quote of "Reject first, time will tell if it is worth replacing." Reject the world before it rejects you. Just as I was feeling a little motivation to open up I get this as a reminder of why I shouldn't.

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Blogger-droid

Let's see if this mobile blogger app will work.

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Looking Back

I used to think I was a Photoshop master. I also had the ability to make my photos really ugly. (Pre-Maplewood)

Taken 2002-ish (I think) on an old 1994, 6 megapixel Fugi digital camera (I forget the model, but holy shit! 6?)



I've always been into photography. I hope I don't ever drift away from it, even if I suck too much to get a job doing it for a living.

A Place to Bury Strangers

So, I just saw A Place to Bury Strangers a day after seeing Built to Spill on Sunday. You could guess I was probably tired from the 4 hours sleep I already got that day. I actually ended up meeting up with an old friend from high-school there. It was pretty nice to be able to catch up with her after not talking to each other for around 3 years. All and all, it was a pretty good night. My ears are still ringing from the show.

If We Don't Kill Each Other First

This idea has been on my mind a lot for the, well, past few years I suppose. I am still unsure what would be better. To try and be rejected than to never try at all. What if it's something you're already pretty sure of the outcome? Should you try it anyway? If I jump off a tall building I just might land into a pool so maybe I should do it? That would just be foolish. Sure, any action is positive because it's an action, it's a moving force in life, but that doesn't mean it's followed by the best outcomes. I guess it all depends on the strength of the person to be able to blow off rejection like it was nothing, because really it isn't that bad. We are all going to get rejected somehow in life. Only problem is when this action is of most genuine and hopeful in nature.


I will continue to ponder this question and ideas that follow.

Average times

Today was just like any other day. I woke up around 11, sulked in my room till I felt too gross to go without showering, showered and got out to play Left 4 Dead for awhile. The PBR I had this morning never tasted so fresh. I also did a little screwing around with my camera in low light and tried thinking of ideas for getting a more professional quality film together. The problem is I don't really know many people who would be serious enough to be apart of a short film, especially a short film that may come off as bullshitted without extensive script and a large filming staff. I might do something like Richard Linklaters film " It's Impossible to Learn to Plow by Reading Books" (very boring film by the way) and make something just involving myself by placing the camera on tripods. It could focus on something as simple as daily life, but be able to capture some powerful emotion or art out of it. Lets see...What else did I do today...Oh, I played acoustic guitar a lot, which was nice. I am going on almost the third week from not really seeing any friends. It seems like everyone is busy, not giving a shit or I just don't feel good enough to be around anyone without being an asshole. Fantastic that I don't have insurance to check into some kind of mood stabilizers from the doctor.

Postmodernism

So, lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about the postmodernist movement. ("Postmodernism is a tendency in contemporary culture characterized by the rejection of objective truth and global cultural narrative.") What I basically got out of it is it's the rejection of a norm that people accept as just that. For example a postmodernist film might be plotless, have no rising and falling climax and no main characters (e.g. Slacker). Or maybe when dealing with art you could consider anti-artists to be postmodernist artists, rejecting the idea of what it means to be art. As confusing as it can get when reading I really want to check into more postmodernist films and art and maybe have my short film and music revolve around that idea, as I'm tired of the same old crap.

First post

It is the first post ever. It happened in this very spot.