Equipment Junkie

I just can't stop buying music shit...I went to Guitar Center again this weekend looking to play the new Fender Jazzmaster but they didn't have it. So now I have a loop pedal. I'm still learning how to use it but so far it's pretty fun. I can just flip in my bass and electric and play over it with epic solos. Much fun. I wish I had more alone time today..

Party

The party was pretty good, I'd say, ha. Despite the fact that there was a gay guy trying to make-out with every single person at the party, which also included me while I was trying to eat a brownie..Ew..ha.. Oh well. I also think I did a pretty good job at staying fairly sober and not puking. I just brought a bunch of pbr for myself and my friend, didn't want to drink the bud or liquor. A lot of people were puking that night, some could barely walk, but I handled my drinking like a fuckin boss. I kinda wish more people showed up though. It was mostly couples so I felt kinda alone, and hesitant to really talk to the couples when they were by eachother, didn't want to seem interested or anything. I'm glad everyone there was pretty chill though...Besides Josh, as the picture shows. So many embarrassing photos were taken.

Do Not Fly

Everytime I see the "DO NOT FLY" sticker I think that it's a hidden message for my life. Let's see how tonight goes...Halloween party, which will probably be a sausage fest, but oh well, it's with my friends.. kinda. I'll bring my camera to tape all the great moments I will forget by morning, ha. My mission is to not pass out drunk, so I'm only drinking PBR. I only hope that there's more people than expected.

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Hate

I really hate how much the media affects this country. We probably have more tv channels than any other country. What's really bad is the power the news has on the people. They could probably say anything they want, even if it's false and you'd have more than half of this stupid nation believing every word. No one cares to research or question anything anymore. We like being idiots. A country run by idiots for idiots. Our founding fathers are rolling in their graves.

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Piss Shit Blender

There's a lot of things I want to do right now...work is not one of them. I wish I had more money right now but I guess I've been dicking around too much. I found a Jaguar and Classic Jazzmaster on craigslist yesterday and now I really want it. Music seems to be the only thing making me happy anyway. I'm currently driving (and blogging wtf). A shitty My Chemical Romance song came on the shitty alt music station. They always play the same shit on here. I need my Zune right now.

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Yay

I love when I find a new album or band. I'm actually excited to drive to work. I have a lot of good new albums to check out.

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My friend tagged me in this photo on facebook, ha...

Fuck...

I'm in the mood to write and learn right now but can't really...because I'm at work.....

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Are you a hipster?

I hate labels in general, but it's even annoying when someone asks me if I'm one, or if my friend is emo or goth. Like, all we are is a cliche of a label. What's even more sad is someone who would go as far to call themself one. Without really thinking I've kinda touched up on every little scene out there, but always made sure to dislocate myself enough from it. I've never really been into mainstream culture, but ironically got grouped anyway. Each "phase" I went through till now wasn't really me trying to "fit in" though. In early highschool I was into a lot of hardcore punk and metal music due to my need to rebel and just being a pissy teen. Then after going to Maplewood I wasn't as pissed off because I was growing up more, so I went through my industrial music phase and dressing really out there. Strangely, after being so distant from my old friends I was friendly with a lot of people I didn't really have anything in common. The people who were totally outcasted didn't interest me much, they usually just bored or weirded me out. I came to see that I was actually pretty normal, just really independent. So after Maplewood I kinda got more into anything indie, as a lot of it wasn't all that popular in the stream already, (something that was always an interest). I've chilled out a lot more. So what was I really throughout growing up? Just a growing changing person. I could have wrote this better, but fuck it. It's for myself mostly. So I can read it later.

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Dream Ramble

My blogs look pretty derpy when I don't read them over when I'm done typing. Anyway, dream last night: I was at work running my press as usual when I had flash backs to getting in a car accident and losing my legs. Then my vision started getting white and I had more flash backs. When I woke up it felt like I was waking up from my coma, but really it was just me in bed at 4 in the morning. I had a hard time going to sleep after that. Not because the dream itself scared me, but the idea that maybe my reality is all fake. I know this is probably real when I wake up, but nothing really feels real anymore. It feels too acted out, too dull. Another random thing on my mind is DMT. After watching the documentary on it and how the guy saw a green lady turning on and off lights to a city it became more interesting to me. It's like dreaming, only more real because you're awake when you do it. It would be cool if there was a research center close by that I could try it at, just to see what world my mind would create.

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Hibernating

I just kept feeling more and more distant till this weekend. Lots of crazy shit...nothing I really regret though. Having fun with random drunk people in Kent was probably the highlight though. I started feeling a little more social. I might go to a party next weekend. Also, I traded off my old bass guitar (RIP piece of shit) for this SDGR Ibanez bass. I don't really know much about it but it sounded better than most of the other basses I played so I bought it. Guitar Center FTW. They barely gave me anything for my old bass though.

Drink On The Job

What I would do for a PBR 24oz right now...Just because I got some sleep doesn't mean stuff still isn't on my mind. Four hours doesn't really do much good either...Short blog...End.

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My little bit of happiness

Ramble (not worth the read)

I'll probably be wasting a lot of my time in life wasting. It's a key item in being alive. Like right now, All I'm doing is sitting at my computer and drinking Smirnoff, trying to explain to one of my friends my outlooks on life and why I see it the way I do. She just signs off. My grim outlook on life is not based on one incident, let's say a shitty relationship I had with someone but more so just everything collectively. It's slowly drawing me to just view everyone other than myself as a whole, rather than separate people, because I'm always able to find the clues before incidents happen. I'm learning how to read people better rather than just whining. Sure, it's still depressing, but at least I feel like I'm seeing some truth in it.

"You shouldn't let people affect your happiness". Seems like a great idea! But you're also forgetting that almost every moment of my life I'm going to have people around me. Kill everyone, then come back to me. I might agree. RAMBLE RAMBLE RAMBLE...I could go on more but eh, I'm not really writing a book on my outlook.

Am I going crazy? Who knows.



End fucking EVERYTHING

Edit

Blogger-droid can't edit posts. What a bitch.

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21 (No Direction)

Being 21 is so weird; like I still feel 17 or 18. Okay, maybe the whole rebel attitude has died off a little, but for the most part I still feel like a teen (not a dumb one though). I can buy alcohol now, go to 18+ events, fucking take over the world if I wanted to. It's like every step that I was so excited to get over has passed. This is the age of no direction. It's not like I'm at Maplewood, complaining about how much I want to graduate. I think that's why people go to college, to feel like they have a direction. I kinda wish they gave the option to go back to school for another 2 years or so. Not college...because I wouldn't get it for free and don't want to spend 1000's on it. I guess I just miss school, the direction, the people (most of which I hated), fuck, I even miss the drama. My mind is hungry, work isn't feeding it, college wants too much for it. Will I starve?

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Plastic Wrap Prison Friendships

I had another weird dream...but I don't remember much. My friend just won a contest in which he won a signed book by a "fucking artsy writer". When he came down to collect his prize he was dressed with his top half covered in plastic, like that plastic that's on action figures, that annoying kind that you would have to stab a million times to get off because it was so thick. Anyway, he goes up to collect it and I just hear everyone in the crowd whispering "what the fuck..." to themselves. I'm not sure what to make of this...maybe a plastic friendship? Like their aren't any real people in my life. The next part took place in a underground prison. They were bringing in what looked like the cutter from my work. "Oh, we're going to make good use of you prisoners. We're a print shop now!" said the fancy dressed man. That part of the dream pretty much explains itself...

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Dead End

And in time my friend, you will remain the same as I; a relic, an empty soul, lost and hopeless. It's always sad that the ones who know how to not only show love, but mean it are the ones that end up so dead. Yes, in due time you will so unmotivated to even get up and go to work, let alone get close to anyone again. I'm mourning for your future loss, as I know how you will feel. Don't end yourself so soon though...This is just part of the journey. Very few people actually know how to love someone.

The Answer

"Which one of these animals is the most meaningful?"

The answer to the question in the dream wasn't even about animals...Everyone was drawing this. A spiral that goes into itself, downward, and then repeats over and over. I kept thinking about this symbol since the dream I had. My life keeps going downward as I loop from day to day maybe? Everyone else answered with this but my paper ended up just looking like frustration. Frustration with my life, with the downward spiral, with the loop. I always have enough motivation to attempt planning out my first movement in life, out of the loop, but every time I guess depression just gets to me...I want to make it set. Summer is the perfect time to move out and make a change. I need to be in the city, where I can accidentally bump into people, make friends and just enjoy the fact that I don't have to drive over an hour away to do anything I'm interested in.

...And Keep Reaching For Those Stars

The Craze

It's fall, you know what time that means? It's time to find someone new to date or fuck, right? Seems like everyone is either breaking up or getting with someone, frantic to get out of their few week long "lonely" states..or to end those mosterious couple month relationships...Of course, what does that mean coming from me. And so, I exclude myself from the game. I had my chances but didn't take them. "It's you're fault you're single Dan!" Maybe I see a relationship as something different than others. I'll date someone who I trust and who is close to me, thus getting rid of the whole "getting to know the person" bullshit as well as diminishing a lot of my "cheating anxiety" (hopefully) ...at the moment, no one feels close. Not a rant, just explaining...explaining to myself maybe? Eh...future reference.

Enjoy the fall leaf from a year ago

End transmission.

Dream

So, this dream took place a year after being on this new experimental amnesia medicine in hopes of helping me forget past events and make me happy. I haven't talked to anyone outside of family in over a year and they decided it would be best to go back to school. It flashed to me walking around the halls and everyone gasping that I came back. There was only one problem though; I couldn't remember where any of my classes were. I ended up then going back to my hospital where I had a breakdown and threw chairs. I screamed about how unhappy I was and that I was going to kill myself if I didn't get off the medicine. They all looked afraid of me as I stood on my knees, everyone staring at me like I was insane. After that I teleported back to class where they had a test on "meaningful things in life". The teacher gave us a sheet of paper and said which of the three animals is most meaningful. It was a horse, cow and a caveman. I had to copy off of someones sheet because I didn't think any of them were meaningful. When I gave the teacher my paper she just looked outraged at it. She turned my paper over to show me it and all it said was "Shit, fuck, piss fuck fuck fuck!!!". Then I woke up and almost slammed my head on the arm of my futon.

I enjoy this here.

Sorry, I was just thinking of an ambulance voice

I almost lost my middle finger at work today. I guess it was just me not paying attention, even though I'm running the machine with missing safety covers. Instead of getting grinded in the gears it slipped out and just had a big gash taken out of it. Good thing it's still here and not broken. I'd be in a loss of "fuck you" if I lost it. I also woke up to a bloody nose before I even got out of bed...I'm in need of change. I need Obama.

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"I don't like when the hairs in my face..be..bec..because I can't see the shit when Iz on my face."

Yeah, It was one of those weekends...I guess I puked a lot but didn't remember, ranted about aliens, fell over a lot and other slightly embarrassing situations. Never ever drinking a Four Loko again. Probably not drinking for awhile...I've been feeling sick all day. Also, I guess I kept calling one of my friends and telling her I love her and "I hate you. pixn hup i love you" >_>...I feel like such an idiot for it. Aside from that I looked at guitars this weekend! The had the Jaguar I wanted but it had some additions that the one online didn't have, making it $800. I bought a new Fender amp and pedal though. So I'm happy about that. Blah...work tomorrow...

Just Wanna Play Video Gamez!

Halo Reach (I don't even like Halo!) and alcohol are taking over my nights...But At least I got to listen to some good music before bed. My internet has been pissing me off lately, meaning it's harder to get my music blog going or look into a bunch of artists. Maybe needing a new router? I'm not sure. Anyway, at work right now. The power went out and I wish it stayed out, luckily it came back on after flipping the breaker. I guess I'll just drone through the day and read pitchfork album reviews on my phone or something. Life is good...

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Semiotical

In an undefined language without words, as it should be. For what is love when only paired with such? Just words that could be spoken by any vicious tongue.

Synthetic Happiness

I found this to be pretty fascinating. Defiantly worth the watch.

Today, The Next Day And The Next Day Etc.

Today I was born a robot. Today my birds almost died, thanks to Mrs. Kitty. Today is the day some dumb-ass thought my toothbrush was suddenly theirs. Today was an average day not worth updating in blog form over, yet I'm doing it anyway. Today is the day I waste hours on Halo Reach. Today is the day I buy that new toothbrush from the dollar store. I am cheap.

The End.

Untitled #1

So I didn't really get out of this weekend with a Jazzmaster, Jaguar or bass like I was planning on but I did get to take my friends to 7 Floors of Hell. I really missed hanging out with them so it was nice. I also got Halo Reach. It seems pretty cool so far but my internet connection keeps shitting out...so I can't play on live. To end the night I think I'll just have a beer and play some Halo. Work tomorrow...eh...I could use another day off.

A Moment

Last night I decided to go out to the football game with my family to watch my sister in band. I was heavily reminded of why I usually stray away from high-school sports events. Aside from that, I did see a beautiful sunset in the parking lot.

It Only Hurts If It's Sweet

Okay, so it's Friday and I made it through yet another week. I'm really in the mood to go somewhere so I might go vinyl hunting this weekend or just look at guitars. I'm kinda disappointed that I won't be finding a blacktop jazzmaster in any of the guitar centers. After work last night I went to Guitar Shack to see if they had any and the guy said the jazzmasters and jags usually get sold pretty quick when they come in. I ended up playing a badass 7 string though. It would have been perfect for sludge metal, if I wanted to do that. Maybe I'll just go with a bass guitar or new camera flash, or sd card..or a drumset...or...fuck... Maybe I should save my money this paycheck.

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