Dream

Weird dream... I don't know what it really means yet, but this is what I remember. (typed out whilst still tired)

It took place in what looked like Jersey Shore. The first scene started off with me walking down the beach, observing all the people there. Everyone looked so out of place though, like they were all hicks from Atwater. I heard someone screaming out in the distance. I think they just got bitten by a shark or something because there leg was missing and there were two people carrying them back, probably to get them to the hospital.

After that I walked into a coffee shack/bar on the beach with a couple raver esque kids were hanging out and some DJ was playing electro music. I ordered a 24 oz Pabst Blue
Ribbon and watched these shenanigans for a few minutes, then stepped in and told the DJ, "Hey, you should play like..some IDM or filthy dubstep, I want my head to explode!". He just laughed and started up his next track. I think I was drunk at the moment for some reason. I was about to ask him what equipment he uses when some guy that looks Sawyer from Lost walks in and tells me we have to get out of that area because he just killed a man. I don't know why but for some reason I went off with him. He said we had to meet up with his "buddies" and leave the state before the cops find out he killed one of his old friends.

Then some stuff happened that I don't remember and we ended up in a drive through because he needed cigarettes. I was still drinking my PBR. He just looked at me and laughed, "I can't believe you're old enough to drink...You've been drinking this whole trip". I didn't say anything and replied to one of my typical "whats up" text messages.

Then it flashed out again to meeting up with his two "buddies". It was a short fat guy with a mixed personality supposedly. He would start talking in a sophisticated tone about the plan for Sawyer to not get caught, then randomly scream "Dicks! FUCK! ASS!" and start mumbling. I think he had tourettes though. The other guy was mentally handicapped and just kept babbling nonsense to himself. I wondered how we would ever get out of here with these two idiots. Then I woke up...

The Greatest Present Ever!

So, It's Christmas. Hooray the for the birth of Mithra! Because Jesus wasn't even born close to December, but fuck, Mithra is fictional too so why do I care? I don't really. And now, the greatest gift ever! Is pajamas. Yup, these pajamas are fuzzy and make my day feel warm and cozy. Not only that, but I got a pack of various imported beers, that I've been drinking all day. Right now it's Oranjeboom! I still have yet to try the Australian beer with unknown things floating in it. It's supposedly "all natural" so that's probably why...they didn't filter it. I also got a automatic car starter so I don't have to freeze my ass off every morning to get my car starter. That's all I got. I didn't really want anything but pajamas and something to clean my vinyl records with. Tomorrow will be a day of spending gift cards! I got a Abercrombie & Fitch card...now whatever can I get with that? The clothes in there are so expensive...

End drunken ramble.

Space

I'll start posting again. But for right now I'm just enjoying not thinking, not working and not...really doing much of anything. Relaxation at its best.

This shit.
(make it stop)

Summer, It's Gone

The heavy winter depression sets in. I haven't seen anyone for about a month now. I haven't had anything worth blogging really. I go home, play xbox, wake up, go to work and complain about my patterns. Complaining about patterns is now a pattern for me. Not always something I want archived to remember when I look back on my old posts.

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Dreamers

It's amazing what a dream can do to someones mood. Last nights one was great. Kinda like a corny romance flick, only it felt more real, maybe more so than reality. It's probably just my head trying to fix the equalibrium by getting out things I've been thinking about a lot or want to experience. It kinda worked, I mean, I feel a little less depressed. Now if only I could remember all my dreams and be able to continue them, like a tv series.

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Just got done watching Swedish Auto on Netflix. I was in the mood to just pick something random that I never really heard of. Defiantly an art film. Lots of moments with just looking around or doing something set to music, minimal dialogue. In the end I liked it though. I could really relate to the main charterer.

I returned my Shins vinyl, which made me sad because it sounded good besides the back side. I got an Elliott Smith album and Peter Gabriel but it was warped and I couldn't play it. A downfall of vinyl, I guess.

New York

It seems like all the bands I want to see always go through New York, or just any band in general. It's like a "must do" thing for them. What about Cleveland? Why go there when they have Columbus. I've checked all the venues close by and none of them have anything I'm interested in seeing for the next month or two. I think Broken Bells is playing in Columbus this weekend. I'd love to see them but then I would need to sleep in my car...It would be cool to hangout with David but I wouldn't want to drag him to a show he wouldn't want to go to. This is why I need to move...so I have lots of stuff to do that's close by and I can do stuff I enjoy on my own. Moving has been on my mind a lot this week. A city would make me feel more at home.

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Later

So last night after being pissed off reading about the RIAA taking a girl to court and suing her for over a million dollars, I took down my Solid Ground blog. I already had two of my album posts deleted by them so I was worried that maybe they were spying on my blog. I was suprised to see how many people I had visit, even as far as Alaska showing up on the map. Weird eh? Maybe there's some random person I don't know reading this post here. Anyway, I think I'm starting up a new blog to help lesser known artists that the RIAA isn't involved with. I think there's a website to search artists or albums that are protected under RIAA, so I'll be using that to figure it out.

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Plans

I think I need to REALLY start saving my money. That means no Jazzmaster guitar (as much as I want it) No expensive lens or randomly spending money on stuff I don't need. When I do spend money I'll just make sure it's on cheap stuff I enjoy, like buying a few vinyl or used video games. I figure if I really try hard I can bank around $500 every two weeks, with the rest of my check used to pay bills and buy food. That means I'll be pretty set on money by summer. I'm a little afraid to move. I know I can do it but I'm worried about finding a job in Columbus or close. I know if anything, I don't want to work in another print shop or fast food. I need a job that I actually enjoy.

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Records

I finally did it. I got a record player. Also, my internet is back after we had to upgrade to high speed just to keep it working. It's bullshit that we couldn't have just got working internet with the normal service. There's really nothing like a vinyl quality. I figured I loved music to much to just have it in meaningless data form. I don't really feel like I own anything that way. Currently I'm listening to some of my parents old Pink Floyd records. Good stuff!

Blah Blah Blah

Last night was pretty good, all in all. I was right about the scene highschoolers everywhere. It was kinda nice being tall enough to see over everyone, ha. Also, I was probably the only one there drinking a PBR tallboy. First concert in a long time that I wasn't alone. I had my friend I drove there with and one I met up with because he went with his sister. I guess he met a promoter there and the girl said she knew a drummer for us and would help get out music out. I think it might be more his thing than mine. I think he could be in a band. I just like colabing and doing solo stuff though. I have my own direction and ideas that I most of the time don't share with others. Forever a solo artist. ='] I also met a few cool people that weren't 15 (Oh shit!). I'm not as bad at talking as I think, probably, but I don't really try to get numbers or anything. Those moments remind me of a Jeffrey Lewis track. I think I'll play it when I'm on break.

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Say Goodbye

So, this weekend was pretty good. I went to Columbus again, saw cool shit, etc etc etc. Now I'm more settled than ever to move there and get out of this place. It seemed like there were a lot of potential friendships and interesting people there.

Today I think another one of my friends died. Not literally, but in the sense that they aren't a friend anymore. The image of who they were withered in my head as the paradox of friendship hit. Am I just friends with half alive people? It's probably best that I keep to myself until I move.

Tomorrow I shall be going to a NeverShoutNever concert. No, I don't listen to NeverShoutNever, NeverListenNever nor do I care to. I am still going though, with my friend in mind. She got ditched. I am the replacement! Yay! I will still like it simply because I like live music, but I hate the idea of being crowded by stupid 15 year old scene girls.

UPDATE

A less dismal update for me. Lately my life has been not worth updating, as nothing has really happened in the past week, other than maybe playing Kinect and getting less sleep than usual. Anyway, last night was the second day of the Kent Folk Festival. Lots of folk artists playing at The Kent Stage. Last night I went to see Frontier Ruckus open up for Jessica Mayfield and some other guy that I don't quite remember, who also did a great job. Frontier Ruckus was by far my favorite though. Matthew Milia really knows how to write powerful lyrics that only Conor Oberst could top off. I really hope they go far. This was my first concert sitting down. It wasn't bad though because it's not like the music was something you jump around or mosh to. I guess this Saturday there will be a bunch of folk acts playing all around Kent at 8. Too bad I won't be able to make it because I'll be seeing Tim and Eric in Columbus. I typed all this while driving. Score! I wish my internet would start working better...Okay, I'm at work now.

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Drug Me Up

Sometimes I wish I could come to work on drugs. Seriously... it would chill me out.. and not even a lot of drugs.. just enough to chill me out. Today I was informed that because I have so much work that I have to work Saturday. FUCKING HIRE A SECOND SHIFT PART TIME PRESS OP. It's too much for one person to do. I shouldn't HAVE to run two machines at once. And shouldn't I be making at least a few dollars more to do this? I mean, after all, I'm saving this company a lot of money by doing this. They won't find another person to run two machines at once all the time, that's for sure. I can't tell the boss though, or then I sound like a greedy bastard for asking for more, when really I should be making around 15 right now. At least let me listen to music. It always seems to calm me down.. that's why I drive off for 30 minutes even if I don't really need to buy anything. So, my plan to save the company = I come back in later tonight and work till around 12 or 1. That way I don't waste time working Saturday. Maybe I'll just off myself soon! I'm off. I might make another post with some poetry or something.. maybe another ramble.. who knows.

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New Look

I got bored of the blue. Now it looks even more depressing and dirty. Just how I intended.

Expect The Obvious

You'll probably end up being right.

Collective Dreamwish of Upperclass Elegance

I haven't really been able to update this much due to slow internet. I really need to call of a service guy so they can pretend to fix it for the 100th time.

Anyway, I went to Columbus this weekend to see Jonsi and David. Turns out Jonsi sold out though and David didn't want to pay the black man extra for tickets (I would have). I guess that's the downfall of involving other people in things that I can do independently.. Oh, that sounded kinda douchey. I also went into about 6 tattoo shops looking for this mysterious septum ring that no one had. I ended up going to Evolved, which is supposed to be the best tattoo shop in Columbus. They were really professional and had cases upon cases of jewelry, but my tiny custom ring ended up costing me $28, compared to the $5 I would have paid at the other shops for a normal ring. I also found a $50 painting in one of the tattoo shops that looked like an anorexic angel with down syndrome. For some reason I'm really tempted to buy it next time I come up. The girl said no one has bought it and it's been up for months. It's like one of those things that's so horrible that it becomes funny.

• I got "My Wiener" at a hot dog shop.
• The guy said it was the strangest wiener he's seen working there.
• It had too many hot peppers.

TODAY: It was just an average day, filled with me fucking things up, as usual. I came home and played my Jackson for awhile. Even though it's dubbed as my "metal guitar" because of it's heavy pickups for some reason I like the telecaster better. Mostly because the pickups are too sensitive that they often make clicking sounds from the strings occasionally touching them.


THE END

With The Power Of The Slowest Internet!

Boring False Literature

Post-note literature is always screaming in my head. I would love to read something other than, "Run 5,000 sheets. Due date 11/17/10". My mind is suffering severely. I feel as if I'm turning into an idiot from lack of stimulation on my brain. Nothing really tests it anymore. I keep having friends wanting to share information with me that might actually be interesting, that is if I wasn't so drained. Just think, a life in which you have all the time in the world to learn whatever you want, expand vocabulary, maybe just take a nap and not have to worry about the time you lost. That would be perfection to me, because quite frankly I don't really want to come home and spend 7 hours of productive thinking. I did my production for the day. They come in tightly packed boxes. MY MIND REQUIRES NUTRIENTS! So to close this one up, it would have been nice to go to college for free, have my car paid off, a place to live that I enjoy and blahblahblah.

Lolve

"How many of you will take a bullet for the person that you love?"- Anonymous facebook user

"The chance of you running into a situation like that are probably that of winning the loto. You will never really be able to prove it unless you shoot yourself somewhere to show you love them, and if it takes that to prove that you love someone they probably aren't worth a bullet."- Myself

Seriously, the cheesosity of stuff like this smells so bad. People who say things like "You are my world, I'd die for you, I'll NEVER love again". Come on, don't be stupid. Not only does this make you sound corny as fuck, but it's a lie to yourself. Not even my parents who have been married for years, not my grandparents, no one I know in a lasting relationship says this. It's like some desperate cry, "DON'T EVER LEAVE ME!!! EVER!!!". I'm actually glad I have this long (but not forever) single status and can just look back and see peoples relationships starting up and dying off.

Facebook is great for observation as a lot of people post their whole lives all over it. "THIS BITCH SAID BLAHBLAHBLAH AND MY BOYFRIEND BELIEVED HER AND FML". Come on everyone. I'm pretty unstable but I can still hold my own without being totally pathetic.

Enough ramble. End thought.

The last headache

This is the last headache I'm getting from screaming birds. I like them, but if I have to keep them in my room I'll never be able to record.. or even think.. (Ex. Look at the last post)

This song seemed to calm me down after being stressed all day. Peter Broderick is amazing.

Shitternet (Don't read)

Well, this is extremely frustrating. My internet is going DUN DUN DUN.. slower than fuck, as usual.

In other news, my Xbox now has that pretty little red ring of death (thank you Microsoft). It comes on no matter what I do, even with the nice little "blanket trick". My work buttfucked me hard again, more so our customer, so now I'm doing double the work I'm supposed to get paid for (running two machines at once instead of one). Will I get a raise anytime soon? NOPE! Benefits? NOPE! Anything other than slavery? NOPE! Today my machines were running like total shit, if no one was there I would have probably put a couple dents in them out of frustration, not for the machine, but for my life. "Look on the bright side, at least you have a job". I actually need the job. I have car payments and a lot of money to save up to get out of this shithole town...that is if I don't keep spending my money on stuff to create these little moments of solitude.

ONE GOOD THING: Playing acoustic guitar and improving lyrics helped calm me down a bit.

I'll post other shit later...when I'm feeling better.

I really need to stop pecking around.

Personality Test

I ended up getting INTP.

INTP

I – Introversion
N – iNtuition
T – Thinking
P – Perception

Love theory and abstract ideas

Truth Seekers - they want to understand
things by analyzing underlying principles and structures

Value knowledge and competence above all else

Have very high standards for
performance, which they apply to themselves

Independent and original, possibly eccentric

Work best alone, and value autonomy

Have no desire to lead or follow

Dislike mundane detail

Not particularly interested in the
practical application of their work

Creative and insightful

Future-oriented

Usually brilliant and ingenius

Trust their own insights and opinions above others

Live primarily inside their own minds,
and may appear to be detached
and uninvolved with other people


ON THE FUCKING SPOT, Eh? I think the test was pretty accurate.

Here's a link to it.
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

Less

You know how valued you are when the guy who hasn't even been working a year makes dollars more than you...I must be the lowest paid. Score for not being worth as much. Jobs are depressing.

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Equipment Junkie

I just can't stop buying music shit...I went to Guitar Center again this weekend looking to play the new Fender Jazzmaster but they didn't have it. So now I have a loop pedal. I'm still learning how to use it but so far it's pretty fun. I can just flip in my bass and electric and play over it with epic solos. Much fun. I wish I had more alone time today..

Party

The party was pretty good, I'd say, ha. Despite the fact that there was a gay guy trying to make-out with every single person at the party, which also included me while I was trying to eat a brownie..Ew..ha.. Oh well. I also think I did a pretty good job at staying fairly sober and not puking. I just brought a bunch of pbr for myself and my friend, didn't want to drink the bud or liquor. A lot of people were puking that night, some could barely walk, but I handled my drinking like a fuckin boss. I kinda wish more people showed up though. It was mostly couples so I felt kinda alone, and hesitant to really talk to the couples when they were by eachother, didn't want to seem interested or anything. I'm glad everyone there was pretty chill though...Besides Josh, as the picture shows. So many embarrassing photos were taken.

Do Not Fly

Everytime I see the "DO NOT FLY" sticker I think that it's a hidden message for my life. Let's see how tonight goes...Halloween party, which will probably be a sausage fest, but oh well, it's with my friends.. kinda. I'll bring my camera to tape all the great moments I will forget by morning, ha. My mission is to not pass out drunk, so I'm only drinking PBR. I only hope that there's more people than expected.

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Hate

I really hate how much the media affects this country. We probably have more tv channels than any other country. What's really bad is the power the news has on the people. They could probably say anything they want, even if it's false and you'd have more than half of this stupid nation believing every word. No one cares to research or question anything anymore. We like being idiots. A country run by idiots for idiots. Our founding fathers are rolling in their graves.

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Piss Shit Blender

There's a lot of things I want to do right now...work is not one of them. I wish I had more money right now but I guess I've been dicking around too much. I found a Jaguar and Classic Jazzmaster on craigslist yesterday and now I really want it. Music seems to be the only thing making me happy anyway. I'm currently driving (and blogging wtf). A shitty My Chemical Romance song came on the shitty alt music station. They always play the same shit on here. I need my Zune right now.

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Yay

I love when I find a new album or band. I'm actually excited to drive to work. I have a lot of good new albums to check out.

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My friend tagged me in this photo on facebook, ha...

Fuck...

I'm in the mood to write and learn right now but can't really...because I'm at work.....

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Are you a hipster?

I hate labels in general, but it's even annoying when someone asks me if I'm one, or if my friend is emo or goth. Like, all we are is a cliche of a label. What's even more sad is someone who would go as far to call themself one. Without really thinking I've kinda touched up on every little scene out there, but always made sure to dislocate myself enough from it. I've never really been into mainstream culture, but ironically got grouped anyway. Each "phase" I went through till now wasn't really me trying to "fit in" though. In early highschool I was into a lot of hardcore punk and metal music due to my need to rebel and just being a pissy teen. Then after going to Maplewood I wasn't as pissed off because I was growing up more, so I went through my industrial music phase and dressing really out there. Strangely, after being so distant from my old friends I was friendly with a lot of people I didn't really have anything in common. The people who were totally outcasted didn't interest me much, they usually just bored or weirded me out. I came to see that I was actually pretty normal, just really independent. So after Maplewood I kinda got more into anything indie, as a lot of it wasn't all that popular in the stream already, (something that was always an interest). I've chilled out a lot more. So what was I really throughout growing up? Just a growing changing person. I could have wrote this better, but fuck it. It's for myself mostly. So I can read it later.

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Dream Ramble

My blogs look pretty derpy when I don't read them over when I'm done typing. Anyway, dream last night: I was at work running my press as usual when I had flash backs to getting in a car accident and losing my legs. Then my vision started getting white and I had more flash backs. When I woke up it felt like I was waking up from my coma, but really it was just me in bed at 4 in the morning. I had a hard time going to sleep after that. Not because the dream itself scared me, but the idea that maybe my reality is all fake. I know this is probably real when I wake up, but nothing really feels real anymore. It feels too acted out, too dull. Another random thing on my mind is DMT. After watching the documentary on it and how the guy saw a green lady turning on and off lights to a city it became more interesting to me. It's like dreaming, only more real because you're awake when you do it. It would be cool if there was a research center close by that I could try it at, just to see what world my mind would create.

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Hibernating

I just kept feeling more and more distant till this weekend. Lots of crazy shit...nothing I really regret though. Having fun with random drunk people in Kent was probably the highlight though. I started feeling a little more social. I might go to a party next weekend. Also, I traded off my old bass guitar (RIP piece of shit) for this SDGR Ibanez bass. I don't really know much about it but it sounded better than most of the other basses I played so I bought it. Guitar Center FTW. They barely gave me anything for my old bass though.

Drink On The Job

What I would do for a PBR 24oz right now...Just because I got some sleep doesn't mean stuff still isn't on my mind. Four hours doesn't really do much good either...Short blog...End.

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My little bit of happiness

Ramble (not worth the read)

I'll probably be wasting a lot of my time in life wasting. It's a key item in being alive. Like right now, All I'm doing is sitting at my computer and drinking Smirnoff, trying to explain to one of my friends my outlooks on life and why I see it the way I do. She just signs off. My grim outlook on life is not based on one incident, let's say a shitty relationship I had with someone but more so just everything collectively. It's slowly drawing me to just view everyone other than myself as a whole, rather than separate people, because I'm always able to find the clues before incidents happen. I'm learning how to read people better rather than just whining. Sure, it's still depressing, but at least I feel like I'm seeing some truth in it.

"You shouldn't let people affect your happiness". Seems like a great idea! But you're also forgetting that almost every moment of my life I'm going to have people around me. Kill everyone, then come back to me. I might agree. RAMBLE RAMBLE RAMBLE...I could go on more but eh, I'm not really writing a book on my outlook.

Am I going crazy? Who knows.



End fucking EVERYTHING

Edit

Blogger-droid can't edit posts. What a bitch.

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21 (No Direction)

Being 21 is so weird; like I still feel 17 or 18. Okay, maybe the whole rebel attitude has died off a little, but for the most part I still feel like a teen (not a dumb one though). I can buy alcohol now, go to 18+ events, fucking take over the world if I wanted to. It's like every step that I was so excited to get over has passed. This is the age of no direction. It's not like I'm at Maplewood, complaining about how much I want to graduate. I think that's why people go to college, to feel like they have a direction. I kinda wish they gave the option to go back to school for another 2 years or so. Not college...because I wouldn't get it for free and don't want to spend 1000's on it. I guess I just miss school, the direction, the people (most of which I hated), fuck, I even miss the drama. My mind is hungry, work isn't feeding it, college wants too much for it. Will I starve?

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Plastic Wrap Prison Friendships

I had another weird dream...but I don't remember much. My friend just won a contest in which he won a signed book by a "fucking artsy writer". When he came down to collect his prize he was dressed with his top half covered in plastic, like that plastic that's on action figures, that annoying kind that you would have to stab a million times to get off because it was so thick. Anyway, he goes up to collect it and I just hear everyone in the crowd whispering "what the fuck..." to themselves. I'm not sure what to make of this...maybe a plastic friendship? Like their aren't any real people in my life. The next part took place in a underground prison. They were bringing in what looked like the cutter from my work. "Oh, we're going to make good use of you prisoners. We're a print shop now!" said the fancy dressed man. That part of the dream pretty much explains itself...

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Dead End

And in time my friend, you will remain the same as I; a relic, an empty soul, lost and hopeless. It's always sad that the ones who know how to not only show love, but mean it are the ones that end up so dead. Yes, in due time you will so unmotivated to even get up and go to work, let alone get close to anyone again. I'm mourning for your future loss, as I know how you will feel. Don't end yourself so soon though...This is just part of the journey. Very few people actually know how to love someone.

The Answer

"Which one of these animals is the most meaningful?"

The answer to the question in the dream wasn't even about animals...Everyone was drawing this. A spiral that goes into itself, downward, and then repeats over and over. I kept thinking about this symbol since the dream I had. My life keeps going downward as I loop from day to day maybe? Everyone else answered with this but my paper ended up just looking like frustration. Frustration with my life, with the downward spiral, with the loop. I always have enough motivation to attempt planning out my first movement in life, out of the loop, but every time I guess depression just gets to me...I want to make it set. Summer is the perfect time to move out and make a change. I need to be in the city, where I can accidentally bump into people, make friends and just enjoy the fact that I don't have to drive over an hour away to do anything I'm interested in.

...And Keep Reaching For Those Stars

The Craze

It's fall, you know what time that means? It's time to find someone new to date or fuck, right? Seems like everyone is either breaking up or getting with someone, frantic to get out of their few week long "lonely" states..or to end those mosterious couple month relationships...Of course, what does that mean coming from me. And so, I exclude myself from the game. I had my chances but didn't take them. "It's you're fault you're single Dan!" Maybe I see a relationship as something different than others. I'll date someone who I trust and who is close to me, thus getting rid of the whole "getting to know the person" bullshit as well as diminishing a lot of my "cheating anxiety" (hopefully) ...at the moment, no one feels close. Not a rant, just explaining...explaining to myself maybe? Eh...future reference.

Enjoy the fall leaf from a year ago

End transmission.

Dream

So, this dream took place a year after being on this new experimental amnesia medicine in hopes of helping me forget past events and make me happy. I haven't talked to anyone outside of family in over a year and they decided it would be best to go back to school. It flashed to me walking around the halls and everyone gasping that I came back. There was only one problem though; I couldn't remember where any of my classes were. I ended up then going back to my hospital where I had a breakdown and threw chairs. I screamed about how unhappy I was and that I was going to kill myself if I didn't get off the medicine. They all looked afraid of me as I stood on my knees, everyone staring at me like I was insane. After that I teleported back to class where they had a test on "meaningful things in life". The teacher gave us a sheet of paper and said which of the three animals is most meaningful. It was a horse, cow and a caveman. I had to copy off of someones sheet because I didn't think any of them were meaningful. When I gave the teacher my paper she just looked outraged at it. She turned my paper over to show me it and all it said was "Shit, fuck, piss fuck fuck fuck!!!". Then I woke up and almost slammed my head on the arm of my futon.

I enjoy this here.

Sorry, I was just thinking of an ambulance voice

I almost lost my middle finger at work today. I guess it was just me not paying attention, even though I'm running the machine with missing safety covers. Instead of getting grinded in the gears it slipped out and just had a big gash taken out of it. Good thing it's still here and not broken. I'd be in a loss of "fuck you" if I lost it. I also woke up to a bloody nose before I even got out of bed...I'm in need of change. I need Obama.

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"I don't like when the hairs in my face..be..bec..because I can't see the shit when Iz on my face."

Yeah, It was one of those weekends...I guess I puked a lot but didn't remember, ranted about aliens, fell over a lot and other slightly embarrassing situations. Never ever drinking a Four Loko again. Probably not drinking for awhile...I've been feeling sick all day. Also, I guess I kept calling one of my friends and telling her I love her and "I hate you. pixn hup i love you" >_>...I feel like such an idiot for it. Aside from that I looked at guitars this weekend! The had the Jaguar I wanted but it had some additions that the one online didn't have, making it $800. I bought a new Fender amp and pedal though. So I'm happy about that. Blah...work tomorrow...

Just Wanna Play Video Gamez!

Halo Reach (I don't even like Halo!) and alcohol are taking over my nights...But At least I got to listen to some good music before bed. My internet has been pissing me off lately, meaning it's harder to get my music blog going or look into a bunch of artists. Maybe needing a new router? I'm not sure. Anyway, at work right now. The power went out and I wish it stayed out, luckily it came back on after flipping the breaker. I guess I'll just drone through the day and read pitchfork album reviews on my phone or something. Life is good...

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Semiotical

In an undefined language without words, as it should be. For what is love when only paired with such? Just words that could be spoken by any vicious tongue.

Synthetic Happiness

I found this to be pretty fascinating. Defiantly worth the watch.

Today, The Next Day And The Next Day Etc.

Today I was born a robot. Today my birds almost died, thanks to Mrs. Kitty. Today is the day some dumb-ass thought my toothbrush was suddenly theirs. Today was an average day not worth updating in blog form over, yet I'm doing it anyway. Today is the day I waste hours on Halo Reach. Today is the day I buy that new toothbrush from the dollar store. I am cheap.

The End.

Untitled #1

So I didn't really get out of this weekend with a Jazzmaster, Jaguar or bass like I was planning on but I did get to take my friends to 7 Floors of Hell. I really missed hanging out with them so it was nice. I also got Halo Reach. It seems pretty cool so far but my internet connection keeps shitting out...so I can't play on live. To end the night I think I'll just have a beer and play some Halo. Work tomorrow...eh...I could use another day off.

A Moment

Last night I decided to go out to the football game with my family to watch my sister in band. I was heavily reminded of why I usually stray away from high-school sports events. Aside from that, I did see a beautiful sunset in the parking lot.

It Only Hurts If It's Sweet

Okay, so it's Friday and I made it through yet another week. I'm really in the mood to go somewhere so I might go vinyl hunting this weekend or just look at guitars. I'm kinda disappointed that I won't be finding a blacktop jazzmaster in any of the guitar centers. After work last night I went to Guitar Shack to see if they had any and the guy said the jazzmasters and jags usually get sold pretty quick when they come in. I ended up playing a badass 7 string though. It would have been perfect for sludge metal, if I wanted to do that. Maybe I'll just go with a bass guitar or new camera flash, or sd card..or a drumset...or...fuck... Maybe I should save my money this paycheck.

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Lock

I really hate complaining.
I really hate explaining.
Hate being a hypocrite at times.
If I lock you out, I'll be just fine.

Reality?

Sometimes I can't help but question reality. It's either a bad dream or a film with very poor acting techniques.

Potential / Friendship

Well, there goes yet another person I thought might have been my friend, emphasis on the might. It seems like I never know anymore though because as soon as I think I have someone who might stick around and care, they leave shortly after. I guess this all goes back to everything from my dreams, to the last blog about rejection. "Just because someone isn't out to kill you, doesn't mean they're on your side". That Richard Linklater quote of "Reject first, time will tell if it is worth replacing." Reject the world before it rejects you. Just as I was feeling a little motivation to open up I get this as a reminder of why I shouldn't.

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Blogger-droid

Let's see if this mobile blogger app will work.

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Looking Back

I used to think I was a Photoshop master. I also had the ability to make my photos really ugly. (Pre-Maplewood)

Taken 2002-ish (I think) on an old 1994, 6 megapixel Fugi digital camera (I forget the model, but holy shit! 6?)



I've always been into photography. I hope I don't ever drift away from it, even if I suck too much to get a job doing it for a living.

A Place to Bury Strangers

So, I just saw A Place to Bury Strangers a day after seeing Built to Spill on Sunday. You could guess I was probably tired from the 4 hours sleep I already got that day. I actually ended up meeting up with an old friend from high-school there. It was pretty nice to be able to catch up with her after not talking to each other for around 3 years. All and all, it was a pretty good night. My ears are still ringing from the show.

If We Don't Kill Each Other First

This idea has been on my mind a lot for the, well, past few years I suppose. I am still unsure what would be better. To try and be rejected than to never try at all. What if it's something you're already pretty sure of the outcome? Should you try it anyway? If I jump off a tall building I just might land into a pool so maybe I should do it? That would just be foolish. Sure, any action is positive because it's an action, it's a moving force in life, but that doesn't mean it's followed by the best outcomes. I guess it all depends on the strength of the person to be able to blow off rejection like it was nothing, because really it isn't that bad. We are all going to get rejected somehow in life. Only problem is when this action is of most genuine and hopeful in nature.


I will continue to ponder this question and ideas that follow.

Average times

Today was just like any other day. I woke up around 11, sulked in my room till I felt too gross to go without showering, showered and got out to play Left 4 Dead for awhile. The PBR I had this morning never tasted so fresh. I also did a little screwing around with my camera in low light and tried thinking of ideas for getting a more professional quality film together. The problem is I don't really know many people who would be serious enough to be apart of a short film, especially a short film that may come off as bullshitted without extensive script and a large filming staff. I might do something like Richard Linklaters film " It's Impossible to Learn to Plow by Reading Books" (very boring film by the way) and make something just involving myself by placing the camera on tripods. It could focus on something as simple as daily life, but be able to capture some powerful emotion or art out of it. Lets see...What else did I do today...Oh, I played acoustic guitar a lot, which was nice. I am going on almost the third week from not really seeing any friends. It seems like everyone is busy, not giving a shit or I just don't feel good enough to be around anyone without being an asshole. Fantastic that I don't have insurance to check into some kind of mood stabilizers from the doctor.

Postmodernism

So, lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about the postmodernist movement. ("Postmodernism is a tendency in contemporary culture characterized by the rejection of objective truth and global cultural narrative.") What I basically got out of it is it's the rejection of a norm that people accept as just that. For example a postmodernist film might be plotless, have no rising and falling climax and no main characters (e.g. Slacker). Or maybe when dealing with art you could consider anti-artists to be postmodernist artists, rejecting the idea of what it means to be art. As confusing as it can get when reading I really want to check into more postmodernist films and art and maybe have my short film and music revolve around that idea, as I'm tired of the same old crap.

First post

It is the first post ever. It happened in this very spot.